


What We Knew

by trippieseojoon



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippieseojoon/pseuds/trippieseojoon
Summary: Joohyun doesn't know anything about love when she meets Seulgi.





	1. lemur

**Author's Note:**

> Tracks inspired: https://open.spotify.com/user/mrhwang/playlist/3MXTBItIdGDIgWaWKnwy3k

After losing her heart yesterday, Joohyun is only annoyed when she finds it at the feet of Kang Seulgi during their gym class. Just like the girl’s style, her once healthy heart is now tattered, lacking enthusiasm, and dark. It’s pitiful. Beyond so. Yet, she doesn’t cry over it even though she should. She should really be in hysterics right now because liking Kang Seulgi is one of the saddest things she feels like she’s ever done in her life.

 

“What?”

 

Seulgi takes her out of her head and reminds her why she’s standing there in front of her in the first place. Quickly, Joohyun bends down to grab the basketball that had escaped from her grip and she tries to pick up her bearings as well. Her found heart gets stolen from her the second Seulgi smirks at her as she walks away.

 

She doesn’t understand what’s so amusing until her friend, Hyejin, points out her red neck once she joins them again.

 

It doesn’t make sense to her at all. Normally, she’s not attracted to girls like _her_. Seulgi is a long list of things that she dislikes with a passion. She’s rude. Lazy. Though Joohyun has never seen her with a cigarette in her mouth, she often reeks of them. She swears that Seulgi misses classes at least once every week. She knows that she curses under her breath more than any sane person should.

 

Seulgi is a punk and being attracted to her is a _total_ and _disgusting_ cliche that Joohyun doesn’t want any part of.

 

However, getting rid of her heart and its desires isn’t very easy said or done.

 

It’s annoying, more annoying than Seulgi’s obnoxious joking around during their English class the next day. Her and her friends are always so loud. Finding her teasing towards another classmate rude, Joohyun spins around to glare at her. She wants to tell her to shut it, but she can’t do anything at all once their eyes meet. Seulgi raises a brow at her. The look in her eyes is taunting, as if she wants Joohyun to scold her.

 

So, Joohyun turns back around.

 

She doesn’t want to give Seulgi any kind of satisfaction whatsoever.

 

She also doesn’t want her heart to beat up out of her throat and onto the linoleum floor.

 

Seulgi is dangerous. As if her appearance doesn’t guarantee that already, Joohyun is more concerned with the things that Seulgi makes her feel. Without any shared words, Seulgi makes her nervous. Nervous isn't a word in Joohyun’s vocabulary unless she's around. Just her presence is enough to throw Joohyun off and it must be obvious.

 

Seulgi cockily calls her out a few days later during their study hall.

 

“I think I did something to Debate Queen Joo.”

 

Her brow twitches upon hearing the pet name meant to sound like an insult. Seulgi’s tone doesn't faze her, though it does rub her the wrong way. She turns in her desk.

 

“You didn't do anything. You just being here is enough to bug me. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.”

 

Seulgi scoffs and lets her attention bother someone else. Joohyun makes sure it stays that way before going back to working on her calculus. The bell eventually rings, but she continues to work. The faint scent of smoke invades her nostrils. Nose wriggling, her eyes shift to the corner of her textbook as someone tosses a folded piece of paper onto it.

 

Her eyes follow the the black leather jacket walking out of her row and out of the classroom.

 

She waits until everyone is gone to open up the note.

 

_You're the only one that likes me, though._

 

Cocky. Seulgi is cocky, and it should be a complete turn off. She has no right to be so arrogant, but it's hard for Joohyun not to buy into it. As grungy as she is, Seulgi carries herself with nothing short of confidence 24/7. She isn't even good at basketball, but she plays as if she's the star of the school team. Joohyun can't keep her eyes off of her during gym later that day.

 

All that staring, and she still can't think of how to respond to her note.

 

So, she doesn't.

 

Days pass, and she's beginning to doubt Seulgi's confidence. If she really _did_ think that much of herself, then she would call her out again. She would question Joohyun on her lack of a response. Right? It's what Joohyun wants her to do anyway, and she hates herself for it.

 

She feels like she's in middle school all over again.

 

Crushes were so dumb back then. They're so dumb now, she thinks. Feeling hurt by Seulgi's lack of initiative is dumb. She has to remind herself that so is liking her. It's the dumbest thing of all.

 

Her feelings are only becoming harder to ignore. She finds herself staring at Seulgi a lot more often than before. Hoping that she will catch her gaze, she does it on purpose. The excitement that overwhelms her once it finally happens scares her. It scares her almost as much as being alone with Seulgi in the hallway.

 

Both making their way outside to the front of the school, Seulgi only meets her eyes briefly and then insists, “You're kinda creepy, you know that?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You're welcome.”

 

They're turning the corner when Joohyun finds the courage to mutter, “I'm pretty sure I'm still the only one that likes you, though.”

 

“I wouldn't know.”

 

“Then, let's hang out sometime.”

 

When they have their first date, she's anxious to see what Seulgi considers “hanging out”. She's already promised herself that if it involves alcohol, drugs, spray paint, or pushing kids down just for fun that she's going to leave without a second thought.

 

Seulgi's battered pick-up truck smells of the cigarettes she smokes. Dunhill, to be exact. They sit parked on Joohyun's street for a while, just talking about why Seulgi smokes and why she likes it. Joohyun is genuinely curious and she isn't trying to be cute. So, when Seulgi insists that she is, it annoys her.

 

The red gushy thing pumping blood throughout her whole body seems to like it, however.

 

She finds out that it definitely doesn't like cigarette smoke when Seulgi lets her take a drag of the one she'd lit after pulling up.

 

After surviving a coughing fit, Joohyun demands Seulgi to never offer her one again.

 

She blames Seulgi for the way she gave into her curiosity so easily. Blaming her for things becomes a concept the longer they're together.

 

Joohyun blames her for the way she laughs in such an embarrassing way that it makes her cringe. She blames her for the way her neck turns red and for the way she can't hold her gaze as they talk about everything under the sun. Despite it not even being her truck, she even blames Seulgi for the gas they waste driving all the way across town to the park. They're not allowed there so late, but she doesn't even pay attention to the law they're breaking by being parked near the lake.

 

She really doesn't care.

 

It's not a good thing at all, not caring, but it's okay. It feels like it is anyway, and she blames Seulgi for that as well.

 

“If you could swim out there, how far would you swim out?”

 

The question makes Joohyun laugh, “Are you on drugs?”

 

“Come on, serious question.”

 

“I don't know. I'd try to swim halfway out, just so I could say I at least got that far.”

 

“Figured you'd say something that.” she smiles, sitting back in her reclined seat some more.

 

“Why?”

 

“You seem like you care a lot about what people think.”

 

“Do I?”

 

“You're Debate Queen Joo.”

 

“And you're… You're Slacker King Seulgi.”

 

She cracks a smile, turning her head to look at her, “That's _Your Majesty_ to you.”

 

Shoving her where she sits, Joohyun just laughs, “In your dreams.”

 

“This actually is, though. It has been for awhile.”

 

Though curious, Joohyun doesn't ask what she's referring to. Them talking and being this way has certainly been in her own dreams before.

 

Them kissing has not.

 

So when they find themselves sitting in silence, Joohyun doesn't know what to do when she notices what Seulgi's eyes are focused on. She doesn't move as Seulgi sits up, only to lean closer to her. The fact that she's never kissed anyone before doesn't trouble her mind at all. Anticipation is all she knows in that moment.

 

Seulgi's lips, how they move and how they taste is something she ends up knowing for what feels like hours.

 

She ends up standing back in her driveway at almost three in the morning, watching Seulgi's noisy truck speed off into the darkness.

 

Though she hadn't gotten her heart back, she's okay with it being in Seulgi's hands.


	2. the 1/5 compromise

There’s a lot she’s surprised about when it comes to Kang Seulgi. For one, she can’t believe that in her free time, she likes to watch old film noir movies. She likes to take her younger sister to the park as soon as she gets home from school almost everyday. She can play piano. At the moment, there’s something she’s _really_ surprised about.

 

“You made this?” Joohyun repeats her question, covering her mouth as she chews the the bite of stir-fried octopus she’d taken.

 

Seulgi had brought her lunch today as a complete surprise. In a cute little tupperware container, there’s enough in it for both of them. Yet, Seulgi had insisted that Joohyun eat as much as she wanted first.

 

“Yeah. I wasn’t kidding when I said I liked to cook.”

 

The proud grin on Seulgi’s face makes Joohyun’s stomach flip and she becomes hesitant about swallowing the food in her mouth. She pushes the container forward and offers Seulgi her chopsticks.

 

“You need to eat too, you know.”

 

She takes them, “You’re right. I am a growing young girl after all.”

 

Sitting with Seulgi at lunch has become a routine thing now, and Joohyun doesn’t mind it at all. Her friends do, however. That day, as soon as she walks into her chemistry class, she gets ambushed.

 

“Are you just ditching us now?” Chaeyoung challenges her playfully.

 

“No, I just-”

 

“Does Seulgi like you?”

 

Eunwoo had whispered the question as if they were suddenly talking about something taboo. Joohyun already knows that she’s doing something bad by having feelings for Seulgi. Why does everyone else as well?

 

“If she does?”

 

“She likes to jump around is all.” Eunwoo explains, “That’s why I’m asking, because I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

 

“I feel like every gay girl at this school has done at least _something_ with her.”

 

Joohyun furrows her brow at how casual Chaeyoung and Eunwoo seem talking about Seulgi’s reputation. It’s as if it’s a general fact that everyone knows. Seulgi has a reputation. Another one. It shouldn’t surprise her at all and it doesn’t. Jooyhun really can’t explain how it makes her feel. The rest of class, she finds it hard to pay attention to anything aside from her own thoughts. They’re a bit heavy.

 

Her whole aura must be weighted because Seulgi notices it when they’re hanging out after school that evening. Parked in Joohyun’s driveway, instead of asking her where she wants to go, Seulgi asks her, “What’s wrong?”

 

“What?”

 

“You seem a bit off.”

 

“You have a reputation, you know.”

 

Joohyun is speechless as Seulgi responds without even saying anything. She knows. She knows, and she’s proud of it. A smirk tugs at her lips, and Joohyun suddenly doesn’t even want to go out anymore.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure _your_ friends talk plenty of shit about me.” she utters, amused for a reason that Joohyun doesn’t understand.

 

“ _My_ friends? What does that even mean?”

 

“They’re judgmental and stuck-up.”

 

“You don’t even know them.”

 

“I know enough.” Seulgi insists as she grabs the pack of cigarettes sitting in her cupholder.

 

“So, what do you think of me then?”

 

It’s a serious question. Joohyun is glad her irritation had fueled the words. She would've been scared to ask otherwise. Considering what she used to think of Seulgi, she can only imagine what Seulgi used to think of her… what she still thinks of her. It’s worrisome.

 

The growing silence that occurs is worrisome as well. Joohyun’s annoyance and confidence weakens as Seulgi lights her cigarette before uttering a simple, “What?”

 

“What do you think of me? How am I no different than my friends?”

 

“I think…” she takes another drag of her smoke, “I think you’re different. That’s why I like you.”

 

“Is _like_ the right word you want to use?”

 

This makes Seulgi pause. She knows what Joohyun’s implying, and she doesn’t seem to like it. After a moment, she just scoffs and focuses on the scenery in front of them.

 

“What, you think I just want to fuck you?” she forces ash from her cigarette out of the window before she throws her arms over the steering wheel, “If I wanted to do that, then I would’ve tried a long time ago.”

 

Joohyun believes her, but she isn’t sure if she should. Does she have a genuine reason not to?

 

Not really.

 

“Okay. I believe you.”

 

“Good, because I’m a virgin and I’ve only dated two girls in my entire life.

 

Joohyun’s eyes widen. Her mind doesn’t know how to handle the left field confession at all, but Seulgi’s tone makes her feel guilty, “I-”

 

“Just don’t believe everything you hear.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

A smirk teases Seulgi’s lips as she looks over, “Do you not think you have a reputation?”

 

“Not a bad one… I hope.”

 

“It’s not bad. Just gross.”

 

Joohyun laughs in total shock, “What do you mean gross?”

 

“You’re a nerd who can’t take a joke, is no fun, and a teacher’s pet. That’s pretty gross.”

 

“How is that gross?!” she scoffs, “And _teacher’s pet_? I wish I was one, then maybe Mr. Sook would curve my grade up.”

 

“You really can’t take a joke.”

 

Seulgi’s laughter just bugs her. After tossing her finished smoke out the window, she starts the car.

 

“At least you’re cute.”

 

Joohyun is even more bugged now, as she knows her neck is getting red. She doesn’t know where they’re going as they speed out of her neighborhood. It’s not really important to her. She just glad she’s with Seulgi, and she wishes her friends were. A couple of days later at school, they’re pestering her some more about why she should avoid “the girl who probably has a closet full of leather jackets.”

 

She really doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

 

“Guys, you don’t know her.”

 

“And you do?” Chaeyoung chuckles, leaning back against her locker, “You said you guys have only been on, like, two dates. You guys didn’t even go anywhere.”

 

“She’s just trying to get in your pants.” Eunwoo weighs in as well, “She hasn’t taken you on an actual date because she probably doesn’t care that much.”

 

“She isn’t like that.”

 

“If you say so.”

 

Friends aren’t supposed to judge each other, and Joohyun doesn’t feel very confident in her friendship with Chaeyoung and Eunwoo the longer they talk. She doesn’t like them as much as she’d thought. Even though she had promised to sit with them today, she changes her mind last minute. Her feet take her to a foreign part of the lunchroom. She ends up at Seulgi’s table.

 

Her small group of friends all give her an odd look, but it doesn’t matter. The way Seulgi’s expression brightens once she notices her makes everything else irrelevant.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Mind if I sit with you today?”

 

“We can sit alone if you want.”

 

Joohyun shakes her head, “I don’t mind sitting with your friends… if that’s okay.”

 

“You weren’t kidding when you said you were talking to Princess Joo, were you?”

 

“Shut the fuck up.” Seulgi threatens to throw her brownie at the girl sitting across from her before insisting for the girl next to her to move, “Go sit on the other side or something.”

 

“You don’t have to move for me-”

 

“Yeah she does.”

 

All of her friends snicker a bit as the one sitting next to her makes a big deal about getting up, huffing and puffing as she brings her tray to the other side of the table. Slightly insecure, Joohyun can’t really meet any of their gazes as she sits down.

 

“I’m Mina. I hope that seat is warm enough for you.” the one who had been forced to move says with a sarcastic smile.

 

“Then, there’s Seeun, Yewon, and Nayoung.” Seulgi takes on the job of introducing everyone else to her.

 

With a smile, Joohyun isn’t sure what to say as they silently greet her. She wants to seem cool, not like _Princess Joo_ or a _debate queen_. Proud of what she comes up with, she looks to Seulgi with an innocent smile.

 

“Why are all your friends so much prettier than you?”

 

It cracks everyone up, and Seulgi doesn’t even know how to react at first. With a playful glare, she strikes like a snake and pinches Joohyun’s thigh under the table. Things calm down and Joohyun just listens to all of the different kind of conversations that circulate between everyone. Seulgi’s hand doesn’t leave her thigh at all and it’s hard for her to think about anything else aside from reaching down to hold it. They’ve kissed plenty of times. Isn’t it weird that they haven’t done something as simple as hold hands yet?

 

As simple as it is, Joohyun is nervous to do it.

 

The bell rings and everyone is heading their separate ways when she finally gets the confidence to take Seulgi’s hand. She grabs it as Seulgi tries to stand up, and Seulgi awkwardly freezes. It only takes one second for her to react, however. She firmly takes Joohyun’s hand and makes their fingers intertwine as she waits for her to stand as well. Without even mentioning it, she walks her to class.

 

Seulgi doesn’t let her hand go once they get there.

 

“I won’t be here after this period. I didn’t do shit for my writing class.”

 

“So, you’re gonna skip?”

 

She gives a casual nod.

 

“You shouldn’t.”

 

“Thanks. I had no idea.” Seulgi quickly gives her a peck on the lips. Joohyun’s head is spinning once she pulls away, “Call me or something whenever you get out. I’ll come pick you up.”

 

Joohyun’s hand becomes cold once Seulgi walks off.

 

She doesn’t like it.

 

She doesn’t like the fact that Seulgi is playing hooky the rest of the day either.

 

“Hey!” Joohyun calls out to her before she turns the corner.

 

Before she knows it, she's right by her side. Her hand slips under hers and, even though she doesn’t know where they’re going, she leads the way down the hall.

 

Somehow, them _both_ playing hooky makes it all okay. 


	3. ready to start

Joohyun has never been to a party in her life. Maybe one or two birthday parties during her childhood, but not a _party_.

 

So, when Seulgi parks her truck across the street from an intimidating house that has music coming from it so loud that you could probably hear it from around the corner, she immediately expresses her concern.

 

“What is this?”

 

“Jeongyeon’s house?”

 

“No, I mean, what are you dragging me into?”

 

“A party…?”

 

“No.”

 

Seulgi’s eyes widen, “What?”

 

“No. I don't wanna go.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because… I don't know. There's gonna be too many people. I hate drinking, and I don't dance.”

 

“Well, okay. You don't have to drink. We don't have to dance.” Seulgi calmly insists as she pushes her door open, “Let's just spend time together.”

 

“But-”

 

Seulgi closes the door before she can finish her protest. She doesn't want to, but she hops out of the truck. Seulgi waits for her to get close so she can grab her hand before heading towards the house.

 

It's too loud.

 

There's _way_ too many people.

 

Everywhere she looks, there are people making out and grinding all over each other.

 

Scared doesn't seem like a suiting word for the situation, but it's exactly how Joohyun feels.

 

Seulgi's grip on her hand tightens, and Joohyun looks to her and recieves a warm smile. Maybe it won't be so bad. Once they track down Seulgi’s friends, it isn't too bad at all. They all gather in the kitchen and mess around. Mina and Nayoung are already tipsy, and Joohyun finds everything they say and do amusing. It makes her wonder how Seulgi is when she's drunk.

 

She ends up finding out within the hour. Her and Nayoung end up taking one too many shots, and Joohyun ends up having to keep Seulgi under control. No more alcohol for her. Joohyun makes sure of it.

 

“Drink for me then.” Seulgi cutely suggests after Joohyun gives her a big fat “no” when asked to hand her a bottle of vodka.

 

“Again, no.”

 

Seulgi pushes her back against the counter and gets a lot closer than she's expecting. Her eyes go to Mina and Nayoung and thankfully none of them are really paying attention.

 

“Come on, Joo.”

 

The nickname makes her smile, and Seulgi takes it as a win. She quickly reaches to grab the bottle of flavored vodka and pours her a frighteningly large shot.

 

“Come on.”

 

“I've never taken a shot before.”

 

“First time for everything.”

 

Seulgi just gazes at her with excitement in her eyes. Joohyun's hand takes the shot without her even realizing it. The alcohol is disgusting. She can’t even down the whole shot in one gulp. Her nose wrinkles in disgust as she swallows the rest of it. She practically shoves the glass back to Seulgi, who is in hysterics. Punching her shoulder just makes her laugh even more.

 

Joohyun doesn’t plan on drinking more, but she does. The more she drinks, the lighter she feels. Vodka and Seulgi is a thrilling combination. She isn’t drunk, not yet. Though every time she kisses Seulgi, she feels so. Her kisses taste like the watermelon vodka they’ve been downing all night. Joohyun doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about all of the people around them as they find themselves making out on Jeongyeon's couch. She doesn’t care about the way Seulgi’s friends tease them.

 

The only thing she cares about is Seulgi.

 

So, when they finally head out, she refuses to let Seulgi drive.

 

“You don’t even have a fucking license!” Seulgi whines in protest as Joohyun runs across the street with the keys she’d stolen.

 

“You’re drunk!”

 

“So?”

 

Joohyun can’t help but scream as Seulgi runs up and grabs her from behind. She’s forced against her truck, and she just laughs at Seulgi’s attempts to get her keys back. They stay hidden away in Jooyhun’s fist, however. She may not be _completely_ sober, but she’s sober enough to have some type of sense. Seulgi has been slurring her words and has been acting more and more out of character as the night’s gone on. She’s completely out of it, but it’s cute.

 

Joohyun feels weird for thinking it. She’s never thought of Seulgi as cute before. It’s impossible not to do so as she drives them to her house. Seulgi is singing a song to herself, mumbling and not even finishing her words as she does. She has a great voice, and Joohyun has a smile tugging at her lips the entire drive home.

 

The urge to smile disappears once she gets out of the car and Seulgi speaks.

 

“I’ll see you- I'll see you tomorrow, okay?”

 

“What?”

 

Seulgi leans over the hood of her truck and gazes at her in confusion, “What?”

 

“You’re not driving home.”

 

“But-”

 

“I’m not letting you drive home.”

 

Joohyun tries to sneak Seulgi upstairs as quietly as she can. Once in the safety of her room, Seulgi's sly words make her want to groan.

 

“You're just trying to get me in bed with you, huh? This is a hold-up. I mean, set-up.”

 

“Sleep on the floor. You just lost your bed privileges.”

 

“But I wanna cuddle.”

 

Hands wrap around her waist from behind as she's pulling another blanket out of her closet. Her neck gets warm as Seulgi buries her face in the crook of it. After lots of playful kisses and resistance, all on Joohyun’s part, they are finally in bed. It's going to be impossible to sleep. Joohyun's pounding heart isn't going to allow her to relax at all.

 

Seulgi doesn’t have any trouble getting comfortable, however.

 

She’s under Joohyun’s arm, face resting on her chest. Joohyun can only pray that her thumping heart is going unnoticed. The situation feels so surreal. Never in her life would she have imagined sharing a bed with Kang Seulgi. Never would she have imagined enjoying it so much. Seulgi’s warmth and touch makes her feel like she’s never felt before.

 

“It’s scary how much I like you.”

 

Seulgi just makes a noise of confusion, keeping her eyes closed.

 

“You... You make my heart feel like it’s going to explode.”

 

Through her drowsiness, Seulgi’s pride makes itself known as she mumbles, “That’s me… Energy drink Seul.”

 

Joohyun just giggles, even more so when Seulgi adds, “Buy three, get one free.”

 

“What?”

 

“Gas stations are so expensive.”

 

“Just go to sleep already.”

 

“Yes, Ms. Bae.”

 

Joohyun smiles as she pets Seulgi’s head, “Thank you, Ms. Kang.”

 

In the morning, the last thing either of them are expecting is for Joohyun’s mom to wake them up. Seulgi has her head buried under a pillow when her mom walks in.

 

“I didn’t know you had anyone over.”

 

“Yeah, sorry. We came-” Joohyun’s eyes widen as she sits up to see that at some point during the night, Seulgi had snaked out of her clothes. The pale skin of her back visible, Joohyun quickly pulls the blanket up over her some, “We came in pretty late.”

 

“Just remember we’re going to Grandpa’s later, okay? Don’t sleep all day. Your friend can come too if she wants.”

 

As soon as she leaves, Joohyun grabs her pillow and wacks Seulgi’s sleeping body with it.

 

“Why are you naked?” she hisses.

 

“I’m not…”

 

“Get up!”

 

“She said later…”

 

“Seulgi!”

 

“Fine… Fine.”

 

Joohyun almost rolls off of her bed in an effort to look away as Seulgi shamelessly pushes herself up so she can roll over. She even sits there for a moment to yawn and scratch her shoulder. Jooyhun lets her feet hang off of the bed and keeps her gaze on the floor. Even though it had just been for a couple of seconds, Seulgi’s bare chest is burned into her memory.

 

“It got too hot last night.” she explains.

 

“Are you dressed yet?”

 

“All I did was take off my shirt and stuff. Relax.”

 

“No.”

 

“I know I’m hot, but there’s no need to be so flustered.”

 

Annoyed by her smug tone, Joohyun is somehow able to grab her pillow and throw it back at her again without even looking.

 

“I'm decent now, you prude.”

 

“How am I a prude?!” Joohyun whips her body around to glare at Seulgi who is now sitting criss-cross on the bed.

 

“You act like you've never seen boobs before.”

 

“I have, I just-!”

 

The smirk on Seulgi’s lips just makes her shut her mouth. Seulgi's mind is obviously in the gutter, and Joohyun doesn't want to dig her grave even deeper than she already has. Neck warm, she really doesn't know what to say now anyway.

 

“Queen Joo isn't so innocent, huh?” Seulgi taunts, “I guess I know what I'd find in _your_ internet history.”

 

“I don't watch stuff like that.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Flustered due to a multitude of things, one being Seulgi’s mischievous gaze, she asks, “Can you leave already?”

 

“I’d rather stay, even though I really want a cigarette right now.”

 

“I'm honored that you're choosing me over those cancer sticks.”

 

“You should be honored that I'm even here.”

 

With a growing grin, Joohyun swings her pillow right at Seulgi’s face only to have her grab it and yank it towards her. Joohyun lets her take it, but she quickly realizes that it isn't what Seulgi wants. Somehow, she ends up in her arms, fighting off tickles and kisses that she refuses to let Seulgi see she enjoys.


	4. stay home

Joohyun’s friends are a bothersome part of her life nowadays and she doesn't know what to do about it. Ignoring them won't solve anything. In fact, it’s just been making her friends even _more_ of a nuisance. Chaeyoung has been trying to have an actual conversation with her all day, and Joohyun finally gets trapped thanks to the anger Chaeyoung's words cause once she pulls up a chair next to her desk in English class.

 

“I still can’t believe you're tossing all of us to the side for someone like her.”

 

“Someone like her?” Joohyun blatantly echoes, looking up from her book, “How many times do I have to tell you? You don't know her.”

 

“And you act like you do.”

 

“I do.”

 

Chaeyoung just laughs, “You guys aren't even actually dating. You're not even her girlfriend.”

 

“I'm not talking to you about this.” she mutters as she watches Seulgi stroll into class with Mina.

 

Her smile and focus on Seulgi disappears as Chaeyoung mutters in her ear, “You just look really dumb. That's all I'm trying to say.”

 

Seulgi comes by her desk as soon as Chaeyoung slithers off elsewhere, and Joohyun can sense her gaze even from across the room. She doesn't know how to feel. If anything, she knows that she should feel dumb for letting Chaeyoung’s words bother her. She didn't feel dumb before, but she feels so now. She isn't doing a very good job of hiding it because Seulgi eventually asks her what's wrong.

 

Joohyun shrugs, “I’m just thinking.”

 

“About what we’re doing tonight, I hope.”

 

“What are we doing?”

 

“My sister wants me to take her to the skating rink tonight so she can hang out with her friends.” Seulgi explains with a smile, “So, I hope you can skate.”

 

Eventually, their teacher gets around to giving his mandatory lecture, and Seulgi has to find her seat. The rest of the day goes by in a blur created by Joohyun’s own thoughts.

 

Is she dumb?

 

Even though things aren’t official, her and Seulgi are practically girlfriends. So, it must be something Seulgi wants. Yet, Joohyun is hesitant about bringing up her feelings. Is it even that important? Why does Seulgi _have_ to be her girlfriend? It’s not like she’s going anywhere...

 

“You’re not talking to anyone else, right?”

 

Joohyun can’t help but ask as Seulgi comes and meets her on her porch later that night. Generic pop music is floating out of her truck windows, and she can hear it perfectly despite the vehicle being parked on the road. Joohyuyn can also see Seulgi’s little sister, Yudam, dancing in the backseat. As cute as it is, there’s just something she really needs to get out of the way before doing or saying anything else.

 

Seulgi raises a brow, “What?”

 

“You’re- You’re not talking to anyone else, are you…?”

 

“Where’d that come from?”

 

“I don’t know… I just-”

 

“You do know.” Seulgi seems to be annoyed for some reason. Once Joohyun realizes why, she regrets even asking, “Your friends are still talking shit, aren’t they?”

 

“They’re just wondering why we haven’t made anything official yet. Look, I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s just Chaeyoung called me dumb for still liking you, and I let it get to me.”

 

Seulgi doesn’t respond right away. When she does, Joohyun’s guilt and embarrassment turns into something else.

 

“You’re dumb for letting it get to you.” she scoffs before taking a step back off of the porch, “So, she isn’t completely wrong.”

 

It doesn’t make sense in Joohyun’s head. She knows she’s dumb for letting it get to her. She’s dumb for thinking a title is a big deal. Yet, Seulgi’s tone rubs her the wrong way. She hadn’t been expecting a response like that at all. Her mouth has a mind of its own as she speaks.

 

“Of course I let it get to me, because all I hear all day is my friends telling me how bad you are for me.”

 

“Then, maybe you should get some new fucking friends, yeah?”

 

Brow furrowed, Joohyun can’t bring herself to respond. She needs new friends, Seulgi’s right. It’s obvious that she’s offended her as well. Seulgi leans forward and a noise in effort to taunt her leaves her throat. Joohyun doesn’t want to make it worse. She knows she should apologize, but she isn’t given the chance. Seulgi stuffs her hands in her pockets and heads back to her truck without another word.

 

Quietly, she follows. As soon as they’re settled in the truck, Seulgi lights up a cigarette.

 

“Hey, Joohyun.” Yudam sings from the back.

 

“Hey.”

 

She isn’t really in the mood to talk. She isn’t even really in the mood to go out anymore. Even more so once they get to the skating rink. Kids are pooling in and out of the building, and Joohyun doesn’t want to unbuckle her seatbelt let alone get out of the truck.

 

“We’ll meet you in there, okay?” Seulgi insists with a forced kindness as she turns around in her seat.

 

Yudam smiles, and Joohyun now doesn’t know if she’s better off getting out or staying in the truck. She watches Yudam hurry out and head to the building. Seulgi sighs, getting her attention, before pulling out another cigarette.

 

As she cranks her window down, she mutters, “I’m sorry for earlier.”

 

“I should be the one saying that…”

 

Joohyun doesn't feel as relieved as she should. Seulgi doesn’t seem aggravated anymore, but something still isn’t right.

 

“Honestly, I haven’t really even thought about the whole girlfriend thing. It’s just a fucking title.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Don’t you think titles change things?”

 

“I… I don’t know. Do you?”

 

Seulgi finally meets eyes with her for the first time since they’d left her house, “It seems like it. I like how things are now and I don’t want that to change.”

 

“I get that, I guess.”

 

“No you don't.”

 

She nods her head, “No, I do. I get it.”

 

Despite the suspicion in Seulgi's eyes, a smile takes her lips, “You're a terrible actress… and I'm terrible at stuff like this. I know, and I'm sorry.”

 

“What do you-?”

 

“If you want to make things official, then okay. I don't care. As long as things don't change.” she takes a drag of her smoke before letting her free hand rest on the armrest. Her hand slowly closes into a fist, only leaving one finger free, “You gotta promise.”

 

Joohyun doesn't even realize how hard she's smiling until it starts to hurt. She reaches out, ready to wrap her pinkie finger around Seulgi's. It disappears right before her eyes and suddenly Seulgi is grasping her chin. Soft lips meet hers and she forgets why she's even happy. Everything becomes nothing at all, everything except for Seulgi.

 

The next time Joohyun sees Chaeyoung and Eunwoo, she's more excited than she should be about letting them know. For the first time in awhile, they're all sitting together at lunch. Seulgi is on the otherside of the lunchroom, but Joohyun swears that she feels her gaze. But every time she turns around to look, Seulgi is just goofing around with Mina.

 

“I still don't get why you like her.” Eunwoo utters nonchalantly as she turns back around.

 

“I don't get why you both keep being so judgmental.”

 

“Hey!” Chaeyoung protests, “I didn't say anything.”

 

“Not this time, no.”

 

“It's just weird, you know? Plus, we're just trying to look out for you.”

 

“If you really want to look-”

 

She smells Seulgi before she hears her speak. Chaeyoung and Eunwoo just gaze behind her, eyeing Seulgi in confusion and surprise. Joohyun doesn't turn around, but only because Seulgi’s hands come down to rest on her shoulders.

 

“We're dating, alright? So, you can stop talking shit about me to her.” Seulgi gently squeezes Joohyun's shoulders as she blatantly speaks to them, “I’d appreciate it… Sure she would too.”

 

All of them, including Joohyun, are speechless as Seulgi walks off without another word. But once Joohyun takes note of the shock on her friends’ faces, she's sure the prideful smirk on her lips says quite a few things.


	5. dangerous

When the words leave Seulgi’s mouth, Joohyun laughs in surprise.

 

“I was scared to talk to you at first, you know.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I wanted to try and talk to you for a long time, but I wasn’t sure if you were… you know.”

 

“Gay?”

 

“Yeah, but then you started staring at me all the time. So, I figured something was up.”

 

“I know I glared at you a lot, but just because I was angry I liked you.” Joohyun sheepishly explains, “And I’m not gay, by the way.”

 

“I know. I remember you had something with that foreign exchange kid last year.”

 

“Greyson. It wasn’t anything serious, though.”

 

Sitting in the back of Seulgi’s pick-up truck, they’ve been parked out near the lake for awhile. Joohyun is resting on top of blankets right between Seulgi’s legs, feeling beyond comfortable in her arms. She’s been making it habit to hold Seulgi’s hands or to keep her arms wrapped around her waist whenever they’re alone together. It keeps her limbs occupied and that means it keeps cigarettes away from her fingertips.

 

“Who was the first girl you ever had a crush on?” Seulgi asks.

 

“I was in middle school. I started crushing really hard on my best friend’s cousin. She was two grades above me.”

 

She snickers and holds her tighter, “Cute.”

 

“What about you? Have you ever dated a guy before?”

 

“Fuck no.” she laughs again, “And, uh, the first girl I _seriously_ liked was my first girlfriend. Small crushes don’t mean much in my opinion.”

 

“Did you date her in high school?”

 

“Yep. I, uh… I actually dated Mina my freshman year. She was my first."

 

All Joohyun is able to utter is a simple. “Oh.”

 

She’s always been slightly insecure around Seulgi’s friends. They’re practically from a different planet. Now, her insecurities are even worse, especially when Mina is around. She’s so much prettier. The way she dresses is almost identical to Seulgi. She can see why Seulgi once liked her. She can’t help but wonder if she still does.

 

Finding it hard to sit with Seulgi’s friends nowadays because of Mina, she always insists that they sit on their own during lunch.

 

When Seulgi is walking with Mina towards the table Joohyun had picked out that Monday, she just blankly gazes at them.

 

“I’ll see you later then.” Mina smiles as Seulgi sits down.

 

“Sounds good.”

 

Joohyun’s eyes can’t help but follow Mina as she walks away. Fingers snap right in front of her face and get her attention.

 

“What’s been up with you lately?” Seulgi asks.

 

“What?”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I… I wanna know more about you and Mina.” she confesses hesitantly.

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you about that.”

 

Joohyun just waits. Even though she knows it’ll probably only make her feel worse about the situation, she wants to know. Seulgi lets out a sigh before getting up to walk around the lunch table. She slides in to sit right next to her.

 

“We dated for, like, five months. It wasn’t that serious.”

 

“Why did you guys break up?”

 

“We just realized that we were better off as friends.”

 

“Right…”

 

“Joohyun.”

 

She just raises a brow. However, she flinches and becomes embarrassed when Seulgi pokes her nose, “Stop it. You have nothing to be jealous about.”

 

“I’m not jealous.”

 

“But you’re a liar.”

 

“You can’t prove anything.”

 

She holds Seulgi’s soft gaze. She doesn’t want to admit it, but Seulgi is right. She is jealous. Mina totally seems like her type. They’re still friends. There have to still be some kind of feelings, right? It’s hard to believe that there aren’t. Yet, Joohyun knows by now that she should just trust Seulgi.

 

It’s hard, however.

 

Seulgi suddenly insists, “Come over tonight.”

 

Of course, Joohyun doesn’t say no. She loves going to Seulgi’s house, but she hates it just as much. Being at Seulgi’s house, specifically in her room, puts her at a huge disadvantage. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that kissing Seulgi gets out of hand fairly quickly. It’s easier to stop it from doing so when they’re in her truck, but it’s different at her house. No matter what, they always end up in the same place, doing the same thing.

 

Seulgi is just a lot more persuasive when she’s comfortable, when she’s surrounded by the walls of her room.

 

She doesn’t even have to speak. They way Seulgi is marking Joohyun’s neck with her lips and the way her hand is trying to clumsily unbutton Joohyun’s school shirt later that evening says enough. There’s something about being trapped between the mattress and Seulgi’s warm body that makes it a lot harder than it should be to protest. Joohyun doesn’t want to speak up this time, but her gut is telling her to. They shouldn’t be like this yet. It’s still too soon. Plus, the fact that Yudam is only a room away is just sitting in the back of her mind. It’s awkward.

 

Tearing away from the skin of her neck, Seulgi grumbles as Joohyun starts pushing on her head, “Mm… I know. I know.”

 

“Then, stop.” Joohyun insists, realizing how heavy her breaths are.

 

“I don’t wanna.”

 

“I don’t either, but we have to.”

 

“Are you scared?”

 

“Of what?”

 

“Of me touching you.”

 

Neck probably becoming even more red than it already is, Joohyun just gazes up at Seulgi as she pulls away some. She lets her fingers fiddle with one of her shirt buttons as she just looks down at her with a quirked brow. Scared? Joohyun isn’t scared. Though, the more she starts to think about being shirtless in front of Seulgi, not even about being completely naked, the more her heart starts to race.

 

But it feels good.

 

She doesn’t know what she’s thinking as she urges Seulgi to sit up by pushing on her shoulders. She also has no idea where her confidence comes from. She can feel her heart pounding in her ears as she sits up as well. Seulgi had taken care of only a third of the buttons on her shirt. So, with shaky hands, Joohyun is left to take care of the rest.

 

Though her eyes are trying to stay on Seulgi’s, Seulgi’s gaze is focused on something much lower.

 

Breathing normally is becoming even more difficult to do under her stare. The words that leave Joohyun's lips are barely that because of it.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

It’s rare to see hesitance when it comes to Seulgi. It’s also very cute, and Joohyun’s lips threaten to curve as Seulgi scoots closer again. She doesn’t notice that she isn’t breathing until she gets lightheaded. She can’t help but freeze up in anticipation as Seulgi’s fingers lightly trace along her bra strap. Her hands take her sides and her eyes finally meet Joohyun’s.

 

With a nod, she silently lets her know that it’s fine. Seulgi can do whatever she wants… for now. Yet, once her lips end up back on her skin, kissing along her collarbone and along the top of her breasts, Joohyun becomes positive that Seulgi will be able to get away with anything she desires. Joohyun is sure that she wants it just as much as she does.

 

But the next day, she’s glad that nothing got anymore out of hand than it had. Hiding the two hickies on her neck before she heads to school is a troublesome task that she never wants to have to deal with again. That, and the one on the top of her right breast is painful. When she sees Seulgi in the hallway that morning, she gives her a firm punch on the shoulder.

 

“I’m going to punch you until I give you a bruise.” she explains, feigning unamusement, “It’s only fair.”

 

“What? Why-?”

 

Seulgi abruptly grins upon connecting the dots. Later, after moving her truck to a more bare part of the school parking lot during lunch, she lets Joohyun attempt to get her revenge, just in a more pleasurable way.


	6. you versus the sea

She's missing school more than she usually does when they have breaks, but not for the usual reasons. She just misses Seulgi. So far, her Winter Break has been nothing more than lazy days spent on the couch with junk food. She misses late night drives to the lake. She misses the smell of Seulgi’s cigarettes. Even the simple things like her laugh and the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles are things Joohyun misses about her. Winter Break sucks so far.

 

It's only day three. While Seulgi is with her sister and her mom, skiing and enjoying the great outdoors four cities away, Joohyun is just waiting for her to come back.

 

She's moping and her friends have had enough of it.

 

Chaeyoung, Eunwoo, and Hyejin drag her out of the house later that day. Once they’re at the BBQ restaurant, she doesn't mind being out at all. She's not paying for the meal, so she can't complain.

 

That changes once Eunwoo decides to bring up a different conversation topic.

 

“Things are getting pretty serious, huh?”

 

Joohyun furrows her brow, skeptical about Eunwoo’s gaze and tone, “Hm?”

 

“You and Seulgi. Me and Jin saw you guys in the school parking lot the day before break, in her truck.”

 

The thought of that day makes her flustered in an instant. They'd cut class just to spend time together, as Seulgi and her family had planned on leaving as soon as school let out.

 

“Did you really?”

 

“Is being with a girl different? Like, how is it compared to making out with a guy?”

 

Hyejin lets out a laugh, “What the hell, Eunwoo?”

 

“I'm curious!”

 

All eyes are on her, and Joohyun silently protests.

 

“Have you guys done it yet?”

 

“No!”

 

“Aren't you still a virgin?”

 

“Why does it matter?” Joohyun wonders, knowing her neck isn't as pale as it normally is.

 

“That's a yes.” Chaeyoung snickers to herself.

 

“I'm not-”

 

“Aw, come on, Princess Joo. Don't be shy.”

 

Joohyun whips her head towards the familiar voice. Sitting off to the side at a table behind them sits Mina, Seeun, and someone Joohyun doesn't think she's seen before. There's a taunting smile on Mina’s lips, but playful isn't the right way to describe her aura. She doesn't like the way Mina's stare makes her feel at all. She feels threatened almost, and she's glad she knew better than to believe Seulgi.

 

Of course she has reason to be jealous, and Mina does too.

 

Deciding to ignore her, Joohyun forces herself to focus back on her own friends again.

 

She doesn't stop thinking about it, and she doesn't hesitate to let Seulgi know what had happened when she calls her later that night.

 

“I don't think Mina likes me.”

 

Seulgi just laughs, “What?”

 

“I just don't think she really likes me.”

 

“Did something happen?”

 

“I mean, kind of. She just gave me a weird look today. I was out with my friends and-”

 

“When are you gonna let go of the Mina thing, Joo?”

 

She stops playing with the corner of her bedspread and insists with slight annoyance, “When it's not a thing anymore? What do you want me to say?”

 

Yudam yelling about something in the background comes through the phone before Seulgi’s sigh does, “Look, she's probably just trying to mess with you. She asked me why you stopped wanting to hang out with everyone all the time, and I told her that you were kinda jealous about us still being friends.”

 

“Why would you do that?”

 

“I'll talk to her, okay? If it's bothering you that much, I'll tell her to chill.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“In other news… Yudam dared some random kid to eat pissed on snow and he did it. It was great.”

 

As they talk about other things, Joohyun finds it easy to forget about her worries. Her and Seulgi stay on the phone until almost four in the morning. She hadn't thought about the fact that her and her parents were going to the mall that morning. It's almost ten and she's barely awake. She's too tired to even do her make-up. Half-asleep and just waiting at the dining table, her mom’s words wake her right up.

 

“The walls are pretty thin, you know.”

 

The look in her eyes is teasing, and Joohyun tries not to let it fluster her, “Sorry. I hope I didn't wake you up or anything last night.”

 

“When am I gonna find out who this mystery man of yours is?”

 

“Um…” she laughs nervously, unable to think of some witty response.

 

Her mom sits down across from her and gazes at her with soft eyes, “You know you can tell me _anything_ , right?”

 

“Right…”

 

She knows. She knows there's no mystery man. Yet, Joohyun can't bring herself to confess it out loud. Not yet. Her mom rubs her arm before getting up and yelling, “Kwangsoo, hurry up! It's gonna be crowded when we get there if we don't leave soon.”

 

Her mom’s actions stay on her mind most of the day. However, her mind gets taken by new thoughts after getting a text from Seulgi.

 

**From: Seul**

**11:49 a.m**

 

_Are you gonna get me a Christmas present at the mall? ☺️_

 

**To: Seul**

**11:50 a.m**

 

_As if. Are you gonna get me one in Pyeongchang?_

 

**From: Seul**

**11:54 a.m**

 

_I'll bring you back some snow._

 

She honestly hadn't thought about getting her a Christmas present at all. Seulgi isn't even going to be back in town for Christmas, but it doesn't really matter anymore. Now that the seed is planted, Joohyun is suddenly getting tons of cute ideas for a gift to give to Seulgi. However, it doesn't take her long to realize that cute isn't Seulgi’s style.

 

Her parents drag her all around the mall, but she can’t seem to find anything that suits Seulgi. She’s a bit dissapointed by the time they start heading back towards the side of the mall they’d come in at. Thankfully, she has plenty of time to find something.

 

It’s actually two days later when Joohyun stumbles upon a gift that has Seulgi’s name written all over it.

 

Eyes darting back-and-forth between the gas station cashier and the glass case behind him, she waits until she gets her change back before asking, “How much are those lighters back there?”

 

“Which ones?”

 

“The square ones.”

 

“The Zippos?” he looks back to find out the price for himself, “30,000 won.”

 

She grabs her soda before pointing, “Can I buy the one with the raven on it? The black one?”

 

“I need to see your I.D.”

 

“Uh… Give me one second.”

 

She hurries out of the gas station to the car. Instead of getting back in, she just taps on the window and urges her mom to roll it down. The confusion on her face only becomes more prominent as Joohyun speaks.

 

“Can you do me a huge favor? I need to buy a lighter, but they need my I.D for some reason. Can you buy it for me?” she forces a sweet smile on her lips.

 

“Why do you need a lighter?”

 

“It’s a gift.”

 

“A gift? For who-?” her furrowed brow relaxes, someone apparently coming to mind, “ _Oh_.”

 

“Mom…” Joohyun doesn’t like the look in her eyes now. She’s relieved when her mom just gives her an “Okay, okay.” and gets out of the car.

 

The ride home is silent. Joohyun just focuses on the small box in her hands the entire time. Seulgi is going to love it. She doesn’t have a flip lighter, at least not one that Joohyun has seen. She’s proud of herself for finding such a unique present. As soon as she gets home, she hurries up to her room so she can wrap it.

 

The rest of Winter Break goes by quite fast, as daydreams of giving Seulgi her gift keep her entertained.  New Years’ Eve comes around before she knows it, and she actually has a good time hanging out at Chaeyoung’s house with all of her friends. Her phone is always in her hand, however. Seulgi and her family are making the drive back to town, which means Seulgi has been texting her non-stop about how bored she is.

 

They’ve been talking about snow bunnies for the past five minutes, so Joohyun doesn't know what to think when Seulgi suddenly changes the subject.

 

**From: Seul**

**11:22 p.m**

 

_You said you’re at the pixie haired girl’s house, right?_

 

**To: Seul**

**11:25 p.m**

 

_Chaeyoung lol. But… yes. Why?_

 

**From: Seul**

**11:26 p.m**

 

_Text me the address._

 

Her heart is racing where she sits as she sends Seulgi the right address. She doesn’t get a response after that, and she’s too impatient and excited to wait more than five minutes for a text back.

 

**To: Seul**

**11:30 p.m**

 

_Are you coming here? Didn’t you say were hours away?!_

 

She’s anxiously checking her phone every minute for an answer. Seulgi is ignoring her, however. Almost fifteen minutes pass and she’s preparing to blow up Seulgi’s phone with texts when she gets a call.

 

“I lied.”

 

All of her friends are giving her weird gazes, but Joohyun doesn’t care. In fact, she shamelessly squeals as Seulgi insists with a cough, “Come outside.”

 

“What the hell?”

 

“What is it?”

 

All of her friends are bombarding her with questions that Joohyun doesn't mean to ignore. She's too excited to focus on anything aside from getting outside. Hurrying out of the living room, she almost trips getting out the front door. Seulgi, truck parked on the street with her leaning back against it, has a beaming smile once their eyes meet. Joohyun has never enjoyed the smell of smoke more as she runs and crashes into Seulgi’s welcoming arms.

 

“We got back like an hour ago, but I had to help unpack and shit before my mom would let me leave.” she explains, squeezing her tightly.

 

Joohyun is so happy that she can't even find words to properly explain it. Whining in delight, she just buries her face in the crook of Seulgi's neck.

 

“Hey, Seulgi!”

 

She pulls away and looks back at the house. All of her friends are hanging out of the door. Eunwoo is waving with a stupid grin on her face. Seulgi lets out a laugh and waves back.

 

“Aw, wait, does this mean we can't kiss at midnight anymore?” Hyejin feigns disappointment as she asks.

 

Joohyun sheepishly meets Seulgi's surprised gaze and reassures her that Hyejin is just messing around.

 

“She's just being annoying.”

 

“Do I have to wait ‘til midnight to kiss you?”

 

“You better not.”

  
Her friends' gawking and chatter becomes obsolete once Seulgi’s lips meet hers.


	7. secretariat

Joohyun finds balancing the debate team and Seulgi hard. Practice has started, meaning three days out of the week, instead of spending time with her girlfriend after school, Joohyun is stuck in the library. They have a couple of months until the competition, but that doesn’t mean anything. The more studying and practicing they get in, the better. All of them are taking it seriously, but, for once, Joohyun feels like she’s slacking.

 

Seulgi is on her mind more often than not and it’s becoming a problem.

 

“There are so many holes in this, Joohyun. I don’t even know where to start.” Mr. Kook sighs as he hands her paper back to her.

 

She just grimaces. She isn’t going to completely blame Seulgi for her performance. Mr. Kook changes debate topics each week, and they only keep getting more and more boring. Joohyun doesn’t care about athletes and whether or not they should be able to use skill-enhancing drugs. So, she’d been lazy with her research. On the opposing side, she doubts she would’ve done any better if she had been on the affirming one. She knows she’s lacking passion, and she feels bad for not caring about Mr. Kook’s disappointment.

 

Seulgi is waiting in the parking lot for her that evening. Tired, she sighs in relief as she gets comfortable in the passenger seat of her truck. Head back against the headrest, she turns and gazes at Seulgi with expectant eyes.

 

“How was it today?” Seulgi asks as she reaches over to let a hand rest on her thigh.

 

“It was fine.”

 

“Then, what’s up?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Are-?”

 

“I’m just waiting for you to kiss me.”

 

A quiet laugh leaves Seulgi’s lips before she gets closer. Kissing her makes Joohyun’s entire day better. Time passes by without notice as they sit parked there. Sharing more kisses than words, the wires in Joohyun’s brain rearrange without her even realizing it.

 

Unable to catch her breath, she mutters against Seulgi’s lips, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

 

It isn’t even a Friday, but she doesn’t care. It’s not like she’s going to get much sleep anyway, not with Seulgi on her mind. It’s just one of those days where nothing seems better than being in Seulgi’s arms. Though Joohyun's surprised, she’s also thankful that her mom doesn’t mind her not coming home that night.

 

It’s only around eight o’clock when they get to Seulgi’s, but Joohyun wants to go straight to bed. She’s already out of her school clothes, in a borrowed pair of sweatpants along with a tee, and under Seulgi’s sheets when the door opens. Instead of Seulgi coming back from the bathroom, it’s Yudam in her bright pink pajamas with an equally bright grin on her face.

 

“Can I join the slumber party?”

 

Surprised, Joohyun just sits up and tries to think of what to say. She jumps when Yudam abruptly screams as Seulgi runs up behind her and picks her up.

 

“Only cool kids allowed!” she insists as Yudam giggles in her hold while she gets swung around in circles.

 

“You're not cool!”

 

“What?!” Seulgi gently lets her fall back to the ground and feigns offense, “I'm cool!”

 

“No, you're not. Right? Right, Joohyun?”

 

Yudam’s silly grin makes it impossible for her not to play along.

 

“Seulgi isn't cool at all. Kick her out.”

 

“Go!”

 

Joohyun laughs so much her stomach hurts as Yudam tries to kick and push Seulgi out of the room. Joohyun really doesn't mind Yudam’s company. She can watch Seulgi interact with her all day. How sweet she is with her is still something that surprises Joohyun and she never gets tired of seeing it. Once Seulgi finally sends Yudam away and crawls into bed, Joohyun doesn't know how to show just how much she admires her. Knowing no words are even close to being enough, she just holds Seulgi in her arms.

 

Seulgi seems confused about her gaze.

 

“What...? What is it?” she mutters, a smile of uncertainty tugging at her lips.

 

Joohyun doesn't say a word. She just gives her a kiss on her jaw and lets her nose glide along her skin as she finds another place to mark with her lips.

 

She doesn't feel in control of her body as her hands roam under Seulgi's t-shirt. For once, she isn't letting her thoughts move her. She's just doing what feels natural and that means getting as close as she can to Seulgi's warmth.

 

Somehow, she ends up straddling her hips in an effort to get even closer. The hands on the back of her neck move to her waist and the kiss her and Seulgi are sharing comes to an end. It's probably for the best because Joohyun can't seem to catch her breath. Seulgi isn't doing any better. Even in the darkness surrounding them, she notices the color that usually only takes her skin when she's drunk.

 

“W- What’s with you?”

 

Seulgi flustered is so unheard of that it's amusing. A smile threatening to take her lips, Joohyun simply echoes the words, “What's with _you_?”

 

“I thought you were tired.”

 

“I was.”

 

That's the last time Joohyun lets anything interrupt the silence in the room. She gently covers Seulgi's lips with her own again and urges her to move with her. A hand ends up trapping some of her hair to the mattress after they switch positions, and she digs her nails into Seulgi's wrist as she tries to move it.

 

“Sor-”

 

As soon as Seulgi moves her hand elsewhere, Joohyun takes her cheeks and forces their lips to meet once more. Her mind has been constantly clouded with Seulgi lately, but it's still overwhelming. There's so much of her that she still hasn't learned. Her heavy breaths, the way her body grinds down on top of her, and the way her sweaty skin feels under Joohyun’s palms are all unfamiliar things. She wants to know everything, to see as much of Seulgi as she can in that moment.

 

Seulgi must be feeling the same way she does. Once she feels a hand running along her stomach under her tee, her body refuses to listen to her anymore. It's listening to Seulgi.

 

It reacts to every brush and graze of her fingertips as she slides them under the fabric of Joohyun’s sweatpants.

 

“Shh.”

 

Every time Seulgi’s soothing voice urges her to control her noises, it just makes the bliss she's feeling even more intense. She isn't meaning to whimper the way she is. She isn't controlling her hips as they rise off of the bed, moving like a continuous wave, just to get more out of Seulgi's touch. It's more than she can handle, and she wishes she could do something about it. However, she's helpless under Seulgi.

 

Her eyes stay closed the entire time, her mind only able to handle so much at once. She can't focus on anything other than what Seulgi is doing. It could be anyone above her, but it's Seulgi. She knows it, and that's all she needs to know to feel as intoxicated as she does.

 

Everything she's feeling is flowing with her in the same wave. Reaching her limit only gets her pulled under, but it isn't scary in the slightest. Hiding her face away in the crook of Seulgi’s neck in an effort to muffle her noises, it feels so amazing that her eyes begin to burn with tears. Her body stiffly shakes under Seulgi's frame. Her legs twitch and jump. If it didn't feel so euphoric, she would yank Seulgi's hand away without a second thought.

 

“I love you.”

 

If it didn't feel so euphoric, she wouldn't have let those three words escape past her lips. She doesn't even realize what she's done at first. Burning alive from the inside out, she can't even breathe, let alone think properly. Seulgi's hand is gradually coming to a stop, but Joohyun's muscles are still clenching. Her body doesn't know what relaxing even means.

 

Once it does, it doesn't stay doing so for very long.

 

“I'll forget that you said that… if you want me to.” Seulgi mutters after clearing her throat.

 

“W- What?”

 

“Did you mean to say that?”

 

Face still against her neck, Joohyun can't see the expression on her face. She's scared to anyway. Seulgi's hand now out of her pants, she's able to move. Joohyun wraps her arms around her tightly as she does, making it impossible for them to look each other in the eye. A low laugh rumbles through Seulgi's chest as she just falls to rest on her side.

 

“Joo…?”

 

“I…”

 

She doesn't believe it's possible, but her heart is thumping even harder than it had been a few minutes ago.

 

Does she love Seulgi?

 

It doesn't make sense in her head. It doesn't even seem possible. It's not. It can't be. Yet, the words had left her mouth so easily that she can't deny it.

 

She can't, and she doesn't want to.


	8. i felt free

Joohyun will proudly admit to being a buzzkill. She doesn't want to be here, and Seulgi knows it. Yet, she keeps insisting that Joohyun stay and hang around. It's not like they're talking much. Seulgi is too busy with all of her friends.

 

She's too busy with Mina.

 

So, there definitely isn’t a point in staying.

 

It's Mina's birthday and everyone from school is here at her house to help celebrate. Joohyun swears she saw Chaeyoung and Hyejin earlier, but she doesn't feel like talking to them. Despite wanting to go home, she really doesn't even want to get off of the couch she's sitting on. To her, she can’t. Wary is an understatement when it comes to leaving Seulgi alone with Mina.

 

It's not that she doesn't trust Seulgi.

 

She just doesn't trust Mina. Even though Seulgi thinks it's silly, Joohyun feels like she has every reason to not trust her. It's obvious that Mina doesn't like her, and she's been making it obvious since they'd gotten there. Mina has been blatantly ignoring Joohyun's presence. Seulgi always thinks everything is all in good fun when it comes to Mina, but there's no way.

 

“Let's go smoke.”

 

Joohyun just watches as Mina reaches to grab at Seulgi's waist. Sitting right next to Joohyun on the couch, Seulgi gets up before seeming to remember who she's with.

 

“Hey, I'll be back.” she smiles, stumbling some as Mina digs in her front jacket pocket for her pack of cigarettes.

 

“Okay. Whatever.”

 

Seulgi is oblivious to her annoyance, but Mina isn't. Joohyun catches her scoff and sees the smirk on her lips as they walk off together.

 

“I'm surprised you came, Joohyun.” Yewon gets her attention as she plops down on the couch, taking Seulgi's spot.

 

“I’m not staying long.”

 

She doesn’t know how she’s going to leave without Seulgi, but she’s not going to try and do that anyway. Leaving without her will do more harm than good, she’s sure. She can only imagine what Mina says or tries to get away with at school whenever she isn’t around. For once, Joohyun is around and she isn’t going to voluntarily let Mina get her way. If Seulgi really cares about her and how she feels, then she’ll come home with her.

 

Faith in Seulgi is there, but so is anxiety as Joohyun makes her way through others to try and get outside.  

 

The porch is full of people, but she can’t seem to spot Seulgi anywhere. They aren’t there. Furrowed brow, she just stands there with a questionable feeling in her stomach. As her eyes wander, they meet Hyejin’s as she walks outside. She gives her an excited wave before hurrying over.

 

“I knew I saw you earlier!” Hyejin grins, obviously intoxicated, “Where’s the girlfriend? Weren’t you with her earlier?”

 

“I was. I can’t find her now.”

 

“Her and that other badass chick went upstairs, I think. Isn’t it her birthday? She’s Japanese.”

 

Joohyun isn’t sure if she’s angry or just worried as she gets out of her conversation with Hyejin as quick as she can. She doesn’t know where she’s going as she heads upstairs. The hall is scarce of people. There’s so many doors, and she’s scared to test any of them. This isn’t her house. It feels wrong to even think about snooping around.

 

However, Mina isn’t Seulgi’s girlfriend. It feels even more wrong to let Mina think that she can undermine that. Joohyun regrets not confronting her earlier.

 

Finding a door cracked open, Joohyun takes hesitant steps as she walks in. It’s Mina’s room. There’s no one there, but Joohyun sees why. There’s a terrace. The doors to it wide open, she can hear Mina and Seulgi’s voices clearly.

 

“It’s just crazy to me.”

 

Seulgi laughs in disbelief, “Are you serious?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Mina doesn’t sound very happy. Silence ensues, but Joohyun’s feet still stay frozen to the floor. She has no idea what they’re even talking about until Seulgi lowers her voice and asks, “Are you actually fucking jealous?”

 

Her stomach drops.

 

“Well, I mean, I guess? I didn’t care about you and Yeunjung because I knew why you went out with her… But this is different.”

 

“Yeah.” Seulgi utters firmly, “It is.”

 

“For some reason.”

 

“Look, if it’s too much for you or something, I won’t mention her to you anymore. She doesn’t like hanging around you anyway, so that’s not even a problem.”

 

“But we’re friends. If you like her, you like her. I’ll get over it.” Mina chuckles quietly, “And she doesn’t like me because I keep messing with her. I know I said I’d stop, but she’s really funny.”

 

“You doing that is only gonna make her hate me too, you asshole.”

 

They both laugh a little before Seulgi speaks again.

 

“Can I tell you something?”

 

“Sure. Can’t promise I’ll listen, though.”

 

“She said she loved me a few nights ago.”

 

“You guys have some really gross High School Musical shit going on, and I don’t approve of it. I’m not gonna be singing shit once that goes down.”

 

Her laugh contradicts her words, “Be serious. We’ve been talking for awhile! Plus, we’ve been together for almost four months now-”

 

“That’s cute that you’ve been keeping track.” Mina teases, “And what are you getting at? It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing anything. It just matters how you feel.”

 

Seulgi just hums in response. Joohyun’s heart is pounding in her chest. She knows she should have walked away a long time ago, but now moving is the last thing she wants to do. Even though Seulgi has been insisting constantly that she has nothing to be embarrassed about, Joohyun has been thinking about her confession from their last night together quite often.

 

Though Seulgi doesn’t think she knows what she’s talking about, love is something she genuinely feels towards her.

 

She hasn’t mentioned it again since, however. Seulgi’s wariness about it makes her a little insecure, but she understands. Just because she feels this way, it doesn’t mean Seulgi does.

 

“I… I didn’t think about it at all before until she said it. I wanna say it, though. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

 

“Do you love her?”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Then, don’t say it.” Mina lets out a soft chuckle, “Know for sure first.”

 

“But I think I know that I do.”

 

“Shut up. Think about it some more when we’re not both drunk. I’ll be able to pretend like I care more sober.”

 

Joohyun watches Seulgi come into view as she playfully hits Mina. As soon as Seulgi disappears again, Joohyun heads out of the room. Her heart is hanging a bit higher in her chest than it had been before. She waits around out in the hallway, her fingers playing with the bracelet around her wrist. Her Christmas gift from Seulgi, she wears it every day no matter what.

 

Seulgi and Mina eventually step out into the hall, joking around loudly as they do. Smiling, Joohyun just waves once she meets Seulgi’s gaze.

 

“I was looking all over for you.” she lies, but her pleasant mood is genuine.

 

“Oh, we were just chilling on her balcony thingy.”

 

Seulgi pulls her into her arms, moving to hold her from behind as Mina joins them.

 

“If you really want to leave, we can, Joo.” Seulgi mumbles in her ear, “I know you wanna go.”

 

“Please, take her. She’s getting on my nerves.”

 

Joohyun cracks a smile at Mina’s sarcasm. She may be somewhat of a jerk, but she isn’t a threat. Joohyun was wrong. She doesn’t want to have bitter feelings towards her. She’s Seulgi’s best friend, after all. All she can do is hope that Mina really will lighten up on her teasing soon. If not, at least Joohyun feels like she can take it now.

 

Turning her head back some to glance at Seulgi the best she can, she asks, “Do you not wanna stay?”

 

“Not if you don’t.”

 

“I kind of do have to finish my paper for Mr. Kook tomorrow…”

 

“Say no more.” Seulgi squeezes her tightly before focusing on Mina, “We’re out.”

 

“The sooner, the better.”

 

A smirk playing at her lips, Mina bids them goodbye. They end up staying around for a little longer, as on their way out, they get caught by Chaeyoung and Hyejin. It’s odd but satisfying watching them interact with Seulgi. Things have changed a lot since they’d first started talking. All of her friends really seem to like Seulgi nowadays.

 

Once back at Seulgi's, Joohyun makes herself comfortable in the living room and keeps busy with her debate work on her laptop. Seulgi tends to lack common sense when she's drunk, and Joohyun is too scared to be far away from the kitchen. For some reason, Seulgi is making pasta.

 

“Fuck!”

 

Her hiss makes Joohyun hurry off of the couch. She's hoping that Seulgi hasn't burned herself, or worse. Her eyes dart all over the place in an attempt to find what’s making Seulgi look so distressed. She just gazes at her in confusion as she holds up a jar of tomato sauce.

 

“What is it?”

 

“My mom bought the wrong kind again.” Seulgi explains, “This isn't the kind with the cheese in it!”

 

Her childish disappointment is so adorable that Joohyun's smile isn't even close to being sympathetic.

 

“There's that Family Mart down the street… I can drive us to go get some.” she teasingly adds, “The sauce is the most important part, after all.”

 

“Fuck yes!”

 

Seulgi walks away from the stove without giving anything else a second thought. While she's in the living room putting her shoes back on, Joohyun strides to turn off the stove and cover up the cooked pasta. She's locking the door behind them as they go outside when arms suddenly throw themselves around her neck.

 

Warmth grazes her ear as Seulgi mutters, “I don't care what Mina says. I love you.”

 

The grin she's wearing upon pulling away some must not say enough, as Seulgi urges her with bright eyes.

 

“You say it too.”

 

“I love you.”

 

Just like the first time, it’s easy to say. It’s so easy that it should scare her, but it’s hard to feel that way with Seulgi. Her glances, the way she smiles or laughs, and even the way her fingers feel intertwined with hers make Joohyun feel the exact opposite of scared. None of it feels scary at all.

  
It just feels right.


	9. run

Watching TV in the living room, Joohyun gets taken out of her daze by her mom appearing in the corner of her eye.

 

She's about to ask what's up, but her mom isn't focusing on her at all.

 

“Seulgi, are we feeding you tonight?” she wonders with a smile, “I’ve been cooking a stew all day.”

 

“That’s what I was smelling.” Seulgi sits up some on the couch and just lets her eyes dart back-and-forth between her and Joohyun, “I mean… Can I?”

 

“Of course you can.” Joohyun answers before her mom does, and her mom gives them a thumbs up before heading back to the kitchen.

 

“Should I be worried about eating with your parents?”

 

Joohyun finds the worry in Seulgi’s eyes cute and she cuddles closer to her as she laughs, “No.”

 

“You better not be lying to me.”

 

Jooyhun’s mom loves Seulgi. Of course, Joohyun isn’t sure if that’s because she knows that they’re dating or because she genuinely likes her. Her dad is always nice when Seulgi is over as well. However, a few weeks ago, he did get onto Joohyun about all of the cigarette butts near the bush outside next to the porch. After mentioning it to her, now Seulgi just tucks them away back in her cigarette pack.

 

Seulgi is nervous during dinner. Yet, she voluntarily talks to Joohyun’s dad about her desires to either go to a music college or to a culinary school once they graduate. She talks about how her own dad had been in the military and how, before her parents had divorced, he’d always hoped she’d do the same and enlist. Not that Joohyun is expecting her to be anything else, but it pleases her how polite Seulgi is the entire time. Once they finish, she even insists on helping clear off the table.

 

Joohyun and her mom end up doing all of the work anyway. Joohyun’s dad keeps Seulgi at the table so they can continue talking about everything under the sun.

 

“You haven’t changed your plans about school have you?”

 

Joohyun stops washing dishes just to raise her brows at her mom, “What? No.”

 

“Good. I was partially worried about you having decided to try and go to school with Seulgi.”

 

“No, of course not.”

 

“How long have you two been dating?” her mom asks with a small smile as she glances at her before focusing back on the plate she’s clearing off.

 

“Almost seven months.”

 

Joohyun can’t stop a smile of her own from taking her lips as she says it aloud, and her mom just teasingly stares at her.

 

“It’s so nice seeing you happy like this.”

 

That’s the last thing her mom says before focusing back on the dishes they're washing. It takes awhile to be so, but as soon as Joohyun and Seulgi end up alone again, Joohyun pulls her into a kiss. Just hanging around in the kitchen with two bowls of ice cream, Joohyun has been ignoring the desire to do it for far too long.

 

Seulgi has a faint smirk on her lips once she pulls away, “That was nice.”

 

“I bet I can make it even nicer.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Humming in approval, Seulgi’s hands take Joohyun’s waist as their lips meet once again. It doesn’t take long for their dessert to be forgotten. Joohyun ends up pressing Seulgi back against the walk-in cabinent as their lips languidly meld together. There’s never a need to rush anything with Seulgi. Just being close to her is enough for Joohyun to be satisfied.

 

Yet, she knows it isn’t the same for Seulgi.

 

Things are usually one-sided when it comes to being close and it’s something Joohyun wants to change. She’s been planning it for days, but she’s still nervous as she takes Seulgi upstairs. She doesn’t let herself get distracted. Seulgi gets her out of her shirt, but that’s all Joohyun allows. Her lips slightly swollen, she forces Seulgi to sit at the end of her bed.

 

“What-?”

 

That’s all Seulgi is able to get out, and she gulps as Joohyun gets down on her knees in front of her. Joohyun has to push her legs apart. She procrastinates out of pure uncertianty as she lets her hands run along Seulgi’s thighs. Eventually, she gets around to unbuttoning her jeans. Seulgi’s weighted breaths are the only thing letting her know that she’s moving in the right direction once she gets her out of her jeans. For once, the lights aren’t off. Knowing how self-concious she herself is, Joohyun mutters a question.

 

“Do you want me to turn the lights out?”

 

“I- I don’t care.” 

 

Joohyun gets a rush she’s never felt before as she finally does her best to satisfy Seulgi for once. There’s so much to focus on. Like, the way Seulgi’s thighs keep clenching around her head. There’s the noises she keeps choking on, ones that Joohyun has never even imagined hearing from Seulgi. Her amazing stomach and the way her muscles move as she tries to stay sitting up, which is something that she ultimately ends up failing to do, is something that Joohyun can’t take her eyes off of. Though, it’s hard to watch when she has to make an effort to keep Seulgi’s hips from rising so much. There’s too much, but she’s somehow able to take all of it in.

 

She’s almost worried that her parents may hear Seulgi when she comes undone, writhing against the mattress as she does. Her arms end up covering her face as weak moans erupt from her. Joohyun stops her ministraitions without even realizing it because she’s so taken aback by how perfect Seulgi looks. She ends up moving away due to Seulgi’s thighs trying to close the best they can. Panting, a curse leaves her lips as she shudders some more.

 

Even with such an intense reaction, the longer they sit in silence, the more insecure Joohyun becomes about how she’d done. She’s reaching to grab her shirt so she can wipe her mouth off when Seulgi mumbles.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too…” Joohyun just gazes at her, chuckling as she asks, “Are you- Are you okay?”

 

“Great. Why are you still down there?”

 

When Joohyun crawls up onto her bed, Seulgi pulls her so that she has no choice but to awkwardly straddle her. Skin still flushed, Seulgi has a silly smirk on her face when their eyes meet.

 

“You know, we still haven’t seen each other completely naked yet.”

 

“And?”

 

“Can I see you?”

 

The request is so sudden that Joohyun just grins in disbelief. She shouldn’t be shy anymore, but she gets embarrased thinking about striping down right in front of Seulgi. It’s when she notices a drop of sweat trickling down Seulgi’s forehead that she comes up with an idea.

 

“Wanna take a shower together?” she asks.

 

“I’m more of a bath kind of girl.”

 

After shoving her face elsewhere in response, Joohyun gets up. She throws on a random shirt and heads out into the hall to go check if her parents are asleep. Listening in front of their bedroom door for the sound of their TV, she’s relieved to hear nothing at all. Hopefully they hadn’t been awake to hear Seulgi earlier. She gets back to her own room and giggles at the sight of Seulgi losing her balance as she steps back into her underwear. She takes her hand once she’s done and guides her to their bathroom.

 

She can feel Seulgi’s eyes on her as she starts the shower.

 

“I dare you to go first.”

 

The childish request just makes her laugh, “Twenty bucks. Then, I’ll do it.”

 

“Wouldn’t that make you a stripper?”

 

“What? I-”

 

“You could definitely be one.”

 

She feigns seriousness as she turns around, “Thanks. I actually plan on stripping so I can pay for school next year.”

 

Seulgi steps closer to her and wraps her arms around her waist, “Gross. Don’t talk about school right now.”

 

“Shut me up.”

 

After plenty of teasing, kisses, and forcing one another out of what clothes they have on, they more or less end up in the same position they’d been in downstairs. Except, this time, it’s Joohyun who has her back against a wall and she doesn’t mind in the slightest.


	10. alice and interiors

Everyone is hugging and chatting in excitement over their win. After almost three hours, the debate has ended. The school they'd gone against had been weak from the start, and Joohyun still doesn't understand how they'd even made it to the finals. She's relieved that it's all over, but her heart is still racing in anticipation as her eyes scan the auditorium seats. Where did Seulgi go?

 

She's heading down the stairs to look around for her when arms wrap around her waist from behind. She makes a noise of surprise, but a grin quickly takes her lips as she turns around in Seulgi's hold to see that it's her.

 

“You were savage up there, Joo.” Seulgi beams, “You did great.”

 

“Thanks. I'm glad it's over. I'm hungry.”

 

“Let's go celebrate.”

 

“Wait, let me go tell my parents. Maybe they'll wanna come get some food with us.”

 

After hunting down her folks, Joohyun gets showered with even more praise and hugs. She's glad her work paid off. The past couple of weeks have been stressful, as she'd forced herself to buckle down more on her research and studying. Seulgi had been a distraction most of the time, but she'd also made an effort to help Joohyun as much as she could.

 

Joohyun's really thankful for Seulgi these days, and she doesn't feel like she'll ever be able to express it properly.

 

Her parents decline the offer to go out to eat, as it's a bit past their bedtime. However, Chaeyoung and Hyejin are free and Joohyun invites them to come as well. They'd come to support her just like Seulgi had.

 

Under Seulgi's arm in the booth they're sharing at the restaurant, Joohyun is content. Seulgi and Hyejin are talking about how awesome a Spring Break trip to Jeju would be. Even though Chaeyoung has mostly been on her phone the entire time, she seems to be enjoying Seulgi's company. Joohyun just listens to all of the words being shared, every so often stuffing a couple of fries in her mouth.

 

She doesn't want to move as Seulgi mutters in her ear, “I haven't had a smoke since before the debate. I'm gonna go real quick.”

 

Joohyun just whines quietly, looking up at her with eyes that are wishing she'd stay.

 

“I'll be back.”

 

Seulgi slides away after giving her a quick peck on the lips. She focuses on the other two as she takes small steps away from the table, “I'm gonna go smoke. Make sure she doesn't eat all my fries.”

 

Joohyun playfully pulls Seulgi's plate closer and just smiles as she receives a glare in response.

 

Hyejin sulks as soon as Seulgi is gone and asks, “Does Seulgi have any friends? I wanna be like you guys.”

 

“Aren't you talking to Minwoo?” Chaeyoung finally puts her phone to the side as she wonders.

 

“Yeah, but he isn't Seulgi.”

 

“Just buy him a leather jacket.”

 

Joohyun raises a brow as Chaeyoung gets out of the booth. She explains, “I'm gonna go see if your girlfriend will let me bum a cigarette off of her.”

 

“When did you start smoking?”

 

“I do every once and awhile.”

 

Slightly surprised, she just watches Chaeyoung head out of the restaurant.

 

“I think Chaeyoung is jealous of you guys.”

 

Hyejin’s words make Joohyun's brow furrow.

 

“Has she told you that?”

 

“She's told me a lot of stuff, and she's being a really bad friend to you, Joohyun.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You know she's bi too, right?”

 

Joohyun is so shocked by the conversation taking place that all she can do is scoff, “Since when?”

 

“She tried talking to Seulgi last year, but I think she was dating that Yeunjung girl from our science class.”

 

“They talked?”

 

“Yeah, she really never told you that?”

 

No, she hadn't. Chaeyoung has never said anything at all about any of it, but that's not why Joohyun has a sick feeling in her stomach. Seulgi hasn't said anything about it, either. That's what bothers her the most as she absorbs everything Hyejin has just shared with her. Her high has been shot and now she feels weighted. She does her best to hide the fact, but Hyejin’s concerned gaze doesn't waver very much as they sit there in silence for a moment.

 

“I… I'm pretty sure they haven't done anything.” Hyejin tries to reassure her, but even she knows that she isn't helping, “I'm just making it worse, aren't I?”

 

“Do you mind waiting by yourself for a second?”

 

“You're not gonna go say something about it now, are you?”

 

“Of course not.”

 

Joohyun gets up as she mutters the words. She isn't really sure what she's going to do until she gets outside. She just doesn't feel good in general, but her feelings turn into something more concrete as she sees Chaeyoung laughing, shoving Seulgi's shoulder playfully as she does. Wrapping her arms around herself due to the cold air, she strides over to them.

 

As soon as Seulgi notices her, she quirks her brow, “What’s up?”

 

“When were one of you going to tell me about whatever it was you guys had?” she keeps her voice calm, but she can't get rid of her hardened gaze.

 

“What?”

 

Chaeyoung just takes a drag of the cigarette between her fingertips. Her casual posture annoys Joohyun, but she can't call her out about it. Seulgi is insistent as she speaks again, “We've never had _anything_ before. Ever.”

 

“Why didn't you tell me you tried talking to her?” Joohyun focuses on Chaeyoung.

 

“It wasn't important. Nothing even happened.”

 

“It kind of is important, especially when you were so against me liking her. If you were just jealous, you should have said that instead of being so mean about everything.”

 

“Jealous?” Chaeyoung lets out a laugh that's laced with bitterness, “As if. She's nothing special.”

 

“You're an awful friend.”

 

Joohyun refuses to give Chaeyoung anymore attention, and Seulgi seems wary once their gaze meets.

 

“Go in and pay for what we got. I'm gonna wait in the truck.”

 

Seulgi tosses her cigarette away and heads straight back towards the entrance without a word.

 

“Give me your keys.” Joohyun calls out the demand and Seulgi is quick to come back and give them to her. Chaeyoung’s scoff grazes her ears as she heads off towards where they'd parked.

 

Sitting alone with her thoughts doesn't make her anger lessen any. In fact, it makes it worse. Out of all the conversations they've had about past crushes, dates, and things of that nature, Seulgi has never mentioned Chaeyoung once. They've all hung out so many times together since they'd started dating, but no one said anything at all. She can't believe it.

 

It doesn't matter if nothing had happened between them. Joohyun just feels betrayed, as she's been honest about everything. She hasn't hidden anything from Seulgi at all, hasn't even considered doing so.

 

When Seulgi finally gets in the truck, none of them say a word.

 

Joohyun feels silly when she finally tries to say what's on her mind. She's unable to because of the way her throat is getting tight. She sighs and focuses on people walking back to their cars in an effort to ignore her desire to shed tears. She feels dumb and that just makes her want to cry even more.

 

“Joo… Seriously, nothing ever happened. She flirted with me some last year, but-”

 

“Why didn't you tell me?”

 

“I didn't want to cause any drama. You guys are friends.”

 

Joohyun sarcastically laughs, “Yeah, not anymore.”

 

“I-”

 

“You've known this entire time why she's been so nasty about us being together and you didn't say anything.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Was she flirting with you?”

 

“Back there?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Seulgi doesn't answer right away. When she does, her response is barely audible, “Kind of, but I wasn't-”

 

“Can you just take me home?”

 

Joohyun ignores the pair of eyes on her. She's grateful when Seulgi finally starts the car and zooms out of the parking lot. Fearful of actually letting her tears get the best of her, she just wants to be alone. She hurries out of the truck as soon as Seulgi parks in front of her house. She isn't sure if she's glad or upset that Seulgi doesn't try to stop her.

 

So resistant against shedding tears, when they start slipping past her eyelids, her frustration makes it impossible to stop them.

 

In the safety of her room, she buries herself under her blankets. The faster she falls asleep, the better. But it deems itself impossible to do. She can't sleep and she doesn't want to. Despite what happened and how she feels, she wants Seulgi. Confliction keeps her awake. None of it makes sense.

 

Something is keeping Seulgi awake too, and the situation definitely isn't making sense to her either. Joohyun feels awful once she reads the text messages she receives a few hours later.

 

**From: Seul**

**2:47 a.m**

 

_Please don't break up with me._

 

**From: Seul**

**2:47 a.m**

 

_I don't know what I'd do without you._

 

Joohyun doesn't hesitate to call her. She picks up after only a few rings, and Joohyun doesn't give her the chance to speak.

 

“I'm not going to break up with you.”

 

“Are you crying?”

 

Somehow, an embarrassed smile takes her lips, “I just feel dumb.”

 

“You shouldn't. I should have told you. I'm sorry.”

 

“She should have told me too.”

 

“But I should have as soon as I realized you guys were friends.”

 

“Yeah.” Joohyun takes a deep breath, “But it's okay. I still trust you.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Do you?”

 

“You know I do.” Seulgi still sounds upset, and it tugs at Joohyun's heart.

 

“Then, can you come back? Stay the night.”

 

“I'm still parked outside.”

 

“What?” she weakly asks in surprise, “You-”

 

“Hurry and unlock the door.”

 

Joohyun is out of bed as soon as Seulgi hangs up. The second they're together, Seulgi pulls her into a tight hug. Eventually, they get upstairs and fall asleep in each other's arms, but not before Joohyun hears a million and one apologies leave Seulgi's lips.


	11. a ring around the moon

Out near the lake, Joohyun is as relaxed as she possibly can be. Her official graduation dinner with her family and cousins is going to be tomorrow evening. Tonight, despite graduating less than five hours ago, she isn't really celebrating at all. She's just sitting between Seulgi's legs, wrapped in her arms in the back of her truck, and just watching the serene water out in front of them. She doesn't want it any other way.

 

She can't help but wonder if Seulgi's sitting on the same cloud that she's on. Even during their graduation, there'd been something off. Joohyun tilts her head back the best she can to gaze up at her. A smile takes Seulgi's lips as their eyes meet, but it's weird.

 

“What's wrong?” Joohyun softly wonders.

 

“Nothing, why?”

 

“You've been really quiet… Whatcha thinking about?”

 

She just shrugs, “I don't know. I'm just… I don't like change, you know that.”

 

“Nothing changed. We're just done with high school finally. I thought you would've been a lot more happy about it.”

 

“I am. I'm just not happy about when I leave.”

 

“You're only gonna be a town away. We’ll be able to see each other on weekends and breaks. I'm only gonna be taking classes three days a week anyway.” a grin captures her lips, “And hopefully I'll have a car before the first semester even starts.”

 

“Did your dad actually say yes?”

 

“As long as I do good in school, he'll pay for my car.”

 

“Man, they grow up so fast.”

 

Watching Seulgi bring up a hand to wipe away fake tears makes Joohyun laugh. She digs her body back into Seulgi's to playfully get her back for her teasing.

 

“I still can't believe you got into Daejoo. I'm really proud of you.”

 

“Thanks… But please stop sounding so sad.”

 

Seulgi just lets out a laugh, “Sorry.”

 

Her aura never really fades. Joohyun can feel how wary she is every time they kiss. She doesn’t want to worry about anything now. They still have months to spend time together and she has a funny feeling that they’re going to be the best months they’ve ever had together. She has a plan. It’s one that she decides to reveal earlier than she had planned. Hopefully, it will lighten Seulgi’s spirits up.

 

She doesn’t say anything about it until they get back to her house. Seulgi just gives her a confused look as she insists that she’ll be right back. It being almost three in the morning, she hurries inside as quietly as she can. She goes straight back to the truck as soon as she finds what she’s looking for. Seulgi, with a now lit cigarette, just gazes at her in curiosity.

 

“Here.”

 

“What’s this?”

 

“Just take it.” Joohyun smiles as she hands her the envelope.

 

Ash falls to Seulgi’s bleached jeans as she opens it up. Her brow stays furrowed as she looks over its contents.

 

“My parents said you can come to Bali with us for our vacation.” Joohyun can’t help but grin at the dumbfounded look on Seulgi’s face, “We’re going for a few days at the end of next month. I really want you to come.”

 

“Did you pay for this?”

 

“Of course I did.”

 

“Joo… I-”

 

“It’ll be fun. You’ve never been, right?”

 

Seulgi just shakes her head, “But-”

 

“What is it?”

 

“You didn’t have to do this.”

 

“I wanted to.”

 

Joohyun rests a hand on her thigh as she tosses her cigarette out the window. A grin then spreads across her lips as their eyes meet. It warms Joohyun’s heart to see her eyes crinkle up in such a cute way, even more so when she quietly insists.

 

“I don’t know what else to say but I love you.”

 

That’s more than enough for Joohyun. Later that week, both of their parents meet-up to talk about the trip. Seulgi’s mom is thankfully letting her go without any restrictions. Joohyun is prepared to pay for whatever Seulgi needs, as her mom makes it clear that she’s not going to just give Seulgi money. Really, they’re both just glad that she gave Seulgi permission to come along and is paying for her passport.

 

Planning the trip together is just that, a trip. It's bringing out amusing sides of Seulgi that Joohyun has never seen before. A complete worry wart, Seulgi is currently making their time in the store a lot longer than it has to be.

 

“So, wait, don't we need towels too?”

 

Joohyun stops pushing the cart so she doesn't take Seulgi's ankles out.

 

“The hotel will have them.”

 

“Can we take those to the beach, though?” Seulgi's eyes are wandering up and down the shelves of bath towels.

 

“I'm sure they'll have towels we can use.”

 

“But-”

 

Joohyun leans over on the cart and laughs, “We'd be wasting space if we packed towels, Seul. We don't need to bring them.”

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“If we end up needing some, we can just buy them while we're there.”

 

“Won't they cost more if we buy them overseas?”

 

Seulgi turns on her heel to face her, and Joohyun is at a loss for words. The genuine concern in Seulgi's expression makes her want to laugh some more, but it's also so admirable that all she can do is smile. Seulgi's brow rises as the corner of her lip does. Embarrassed, Joohyun softly explains herself.

 

“It's like we’re married. If vacation shopping with you is this crucial, I can't imagine apartment shopping with you.” she teases with a sheepish gaze.

 

“Fuck that.” Joohyun’s confusion over Seulgi's curse doesn't last long, “We'd be house shopping, not apartment shopping.”

 

She uses the list in her hand to point at Joohyun as she adds, “And it's called being prepared.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Joohyun rolls her eyes before smirking at her.

 

“So… Sandals?”

 

Seulgi is prepared for everything except the trip itself by the time it rolls around. It isn't until they're past security in the airport that she realizes she can't smoke. Well, she thinks she can't. Having never been in an airport before, she's blown away by the duty-free shop. After walking to their gate with her parents, Joohyun guides Seulgi to the right area.

 

Finding a smoking area is harder than it should be and Joohyun lets Seulgi go alone once they find it. A few minutes pass and she comes back in before muttering, “This is so cool.”

 

With an hour until they board their plane, instead of waiting with Joohyun's parents, they roam all over the airport. Seulgi seems perfectly okay until they have to head back. Her enthusiasm lessens some, even more so when their group gets to board the plane. Taking notice of it, Joohyun whispers in her ear from behind as they squeeze their way down the aisle to find their seat.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Just nervous.”

 

Joohyun doesn't want to tease her or show her amusement once they finally sit down. Seulgi's eyes are darting all over the place. It's rare to see her nervous like this, and Joohyun still hasn't learned how to make it any better when it happens. She just stays quiet as she hands Seulgi her neck pillow. She grabs her own blanket out of her carry-on and covers the both of them with it. Around eight hours, they'll definitely be sleeping on their flight.

 

“Trust me, it isn't that bad. It'll just feel weird during take-off.”

 

“You'll be fine, Seulgi.” Joohyun's mom looks back with a smile as she insists.

 

Seulgi’s attempt at a smile makes Joohyun chuckle, and she reaches down under the blanket to grab her hand. It takes a while, but they finally take-off. It’s not as bad as Seulgi had been expecting. But she keeps her eyes shut tight the entire time and Joohyun wonders if having the window seat is going to help her or not. In the end, it just makes things more complicated.

 

Though she keeps insisting that she’s okay, eventually she’s unable to hide how ill she feels. Joohyun feels awful when Seulgi practically jumps over her to head to the bathroom. For awhile, she goes back-and-forth between there and her seat. They’re not even an hour and a half out when Seulgi makes the bathroom at the back of the plane her new seat. Joohyun ends up telling one of the flight attendants so that people don’t try to wait for her to come out.

 

One of them has some airsickness medicine and Joohyun can’t thank the attendant enough when he brings it to her. Hurrying to give it to her poor girlfriend, Joohyun knocks on the door.

 

“Hey, I have something that’ll help.”

 

It takes a moment, but Seulgi opens the door. She’s a lot more pale than usual, and Joohyun just wants to pull her into a hug. She offers her the small canister of pills and the bottle of water she has.

 

“Take two of these. It’ll help you feel less nauseous.”

 

All she does is nod in response as she grabs it. Joohyun wets her thumb and reaches out to wipe the corner of Seulgi’s mouth off. She frowns, “You haven’t been throwing up a lot, have you?”

 

“Just once.”

 

“Take those and I’ll see if one of the attendants has a toothbrush you can use. I’ll be back.”

 

Thankfully, the same man who had helped her earlier says he has some travel toothbrushes somewhere in the back. Joohyun waits near her seat and lets her parents know how Seulgi’s doing. As soon as she gets the brush and some toothpaste, she heads back to the bathroom. Seulgi looks pitiful.

 

“I’m sorry you’re sick.”

 

“Thanks for getting this.” Seulgi grimaces in disgust, “I’m glad I didn’t eat much this morning.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Jooyhun lets her lips curve sympathetically. Seulgi is about to just close the door again, but she stops her. Taking one of her cheeks, Joohyun holds her still as she kisses her opposite cheek.

 

“I’m lonely over there. Hurry back.”

 

The dull color in Seulgi’s eyes brightens some and for the first time since getting on the plane, her smile seems genuine.


	12. never meant

The beach at night is surprisingly no different than it is during the day. There's plenty of people around, even kids. The mood is different, however. It's calm, just like the waves continuously caressing the shore. Seulgi's been sick for the past two days, and they're finally spending time out of the resort together. Joohyun had come here earlier this morning with her parents while Seulgi had slept, and coming back has been on her mind since. Though she hasn't minded holding Seulgi in their bed together for the past two days, she's happy to feel Seulgi's arms around her for once.

 

“Do you think there's sharks?”

 

The question sounds so ridiculously childish that Joohyun laughs the second it leaves Seulgi's lips, “Probably.”

 

“Let's catch one and eat it.”

 

“What in the world is wrong with you?”

 

“Thankfully nothing anymore. I thought I was gonna die.”

 

“Poor baby.”

 

She reaches up behind to pat Seulgi's cheek teasingly. Though, she really has felt bad for her. Seulgi's airsickness had turned into something else along the way, and she'd been sleeping and practically starving herself since they’d landed. If it hadn't been for her parents, Joohyun would've never left the resort at all. She's been by Seulgi's side as much as possible.

 

“I owe you, like, three vacation days.” Seulgi rests her chin on Joohyun's shoulder, “We should've known that I'd ruin something.”

 

“You couldn't help being sick. We still have plenty of time to go do stuff together.”

 

“What's on you Bali Bucket List?”

 

Joohyun hums in thought before uttering with a smile, “I wanna go hike. Go see a waterfall or something.”

 

“All I heard was that you want me to die.”

 

“It's not my fault you're out of shape. Stop smoking.”

 

“I'm trying.”

 

“I'd rather you just admit that you don't want to than lie to me.”

 

Seulgi chuckles, “I want to, I promise.”

 

“I'll believe it when you mean it.”

 

“Fine.”

 

Joohyun makes a noise of confusion as Seulgi's arms leave her body. She stumbles in the sand as she gets up and walks over to their beach bag. After finding what she's looking for, Seulgi starts quietly singing a song to herself.

 

Even though Joohyun connects the dots before Seulgi strides back past her, she watches in surprise as a familiar pack of cigarettes goes flying into the ocean.

 

“Won't that kill the fish?” she asks, hiding how proud she feels about Seulgi's actions.

 

Her head whips around, revealing wide eyes, “Should I… Should I go get them?”

 

“Yep. Go.”

 

It takes a moment for her to pick up on Joohyun's sarcasm, and the silly smirk that slowly takes her lips in response makes Joohyun want to just pull her down and kiss her.

 

Eventually, that’s what she ends up doing.

 

Drunk off of Seulgi, they get back to the resort hotel in the odd hours of the morning. Kisses that feel too intimate to be shared out in public get shared with the walls of the elevator they're in as they head back to their room. Joohyun's parents have a room right next to theirs, and she just hopes that they can't hear her laughing and squealing as Seulgi chases her around in an attempt to get her into bed. Seulgi's tired, but sleeping is the last thing on Joohyun's mind.

 

Once they're out of their clothes with flushed, sweaty skin, Joohyun still doesn't have the desire to sleep. But it's not her fault.

 

Seulgi is still on top of her, her face is buried in the crook of Joohyun's neck when she quietly mutters, “I'm really gonna miss you.”

 

A whine of frustration erupts from Joohyun's throat the second the words are said.

 

“Stop it, please.” she begs.

 

“I just… Sorry.”

 

“Seul.”

 

“It just really fucking sucks.”

 

Joohyun’s brow furrows due to the way Seulgi’s voice changes. A heavy sigh leaves her lips as she sits up and Joohyun follows. The darkness doesn't hide away any of Seulgi's distress. It's written all over her. Joohyun isn't sure which is worse, seeing how she feels or hearing it.

 

“It just sucks.” she repeats herself once more.

 

She tries to move so she can sit on the bed normally, but Joohyun doesn't let her. She wraps her arms around Seulgi's waist and forces her to just stay straddling her lap.

 

“It doesn't matter how far away you'll be from me, I'll still love you. You'll still love me, right?”

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“What are you so worried about?” Joohyun genuinely wonders.

 

“I've never… never had a relationship like this before, you know? I can't help it.”

 

Seulgi isn't saying all she wants to, and Joohyun doesn't want to make her. She doesn't have to, as she can kind of understand without knowing. She gets it.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Out of all that happens over the next few days, Joohyun’s mind stays on Seulgi and what her eyes tend to hold more often than not. Joohyun doesn't want to think about the day when she packs up for Eunsung, but her weighted aura makes it hard not to. She hates that Seulgi feels the way she does. She hates that she's so worried about school starting back up. It's constantly on her mind, and Joohyun has no choice but to think about it as well.

 

She really doesn't believe it's going to be that bad, but the few months they have together pass by quickly. Before she knows it, she's at Seulgi's house standing in a more or less empty bedroom. She's been helping Seulgi pack up her truck all morning. What was once bittersweet excitement is now just sadness. Joohyun can't even force a fake smile on her lips as Seulgi comes back in, having finished bringing the last box to her truck.

 

“My mom wants to take me and Yudam out for lunch before I go. Do you wanna come?”

 

As much as she wants to tag along, Joohyun also doesn’t want to intrude on any of Seulgi’s family time. She’s been with Seulgi for the past couple of days 24/7 and has hogged her enough. Plus, it’s probably going to be emotional, and she’s already reached her limit for the day. At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself. She knows once she leaves and goes home that her heavy heart is going to drag her down even more. She’s trying not to think about it.

 

At the moment, Seulgi is making it harder than ever.

 

It’s hard for Joohyun to force the rejection off of her tongue, “I think you and your mom should spend some time together before you go. Yudam, too.”

 

“But, you.”

 

That’s the only logic Seulgi can give it seems and it makes Joohyun laugh. The door to the room gets locked, and she ends up leaning back against the window frame with Seulgi trapping her there. Even though it feels like there’s so much to say, there aren’t very many words spoken at all. Seulgi’s gaze touches her far more than the light kiss she recieves, and Joohyun suddenly isn’t sure if she can wait until later tonight to shed tears over the fact that they won’t be seeing each other for awhile.

 

“I promise before the month is over I’ll drive out to see you.” she mutters, reassuring herself and Seulgi that she will, “As soon as I get the car.”

 

“You better.”

 

“Call me when you leave, okay?”

 

“I’m gonna call you so I have someone to talk to. The drive is gonna be boring.”

 

“I may be crying.”

 

Seulgi snickers, “I can’t believe you made such a big deal about me being so upset, but now look at you.”

 

“I’m trying not to be!”

 

Whining, she shoves Seulgi’s chest and it doesn’t do anything except make the both of them laugh. Joking around is a great distraction until Seulgi’s mom comes upstairs and knocks on the door. She’s ready to head out for lunch, and Joohyun has no choice but to be ready to head home. It takes everything in her to keep declining the offer to come along. Seulgi’s mom is probably just insisting she come to be nice, but Joohyun knows that she probably wants to have her daughter to herself for once.

 

Joohyun has to wait for her own mom to stop by, and everyone waits in Seulgi’s mom’s car until she comes. Seulgi decides to wait outisde in the driveway with Joohyun, however. She doesn’t seem to care about her mom being close by at all, as she’s shamelessly hugging her. Joohyun can’t push her away, not that she wants to. It doesn’t take long for Joohyun’s mom to get there, and Joohyun doesn’t move once she hears her pull up.

 

“Mom’s here.” Seulgi mumbles in her ear.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

Her laugh in response shakes her entire frame. Joohyun reluctantly backs away. Words get stuck in her throat out of confusion as Seulgi takes a quick glance towards her own mom’s car. Before Joohyun can even question it, a hand is carressing her cheek and lips are on hers. Shock fades quickly, and Joohyun kisses her back. It doesn’t last long enough.

 

She isn’t sure if it’s the kiss, Seulgi’s faint smile, or her words that makes it difficult to speak.

 

“I’m gonna tell my mom about us before I leave. So, I guess that’ll be something we can talk about when I call you later.”

 

“O- Okay.”

 

“Love you.”

 

With a sad smile, Joohyun can only whisper, “You too.”

 

Seulgi’s eyes dip breifly, and Joohyun is prepared for the kiss she gets this time. She’s still left wanting more as Seulgi steps back and starts heading to her mom’s car. With a wave, she smiles before turning on her heel. Joohyun heads to her own mom’s car with heavy feet. The gaze she feels on her makes her want to just go ahead and break down right there in the passenger seat. Her mom reaches over to pat her thigh.

 

“I’m proud of the both of you.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“It’s only tough right now.” she insists softly, “You’ll both adjust before you know it.”

 

Joohyun can only hope so. Seulgi has her heart after all, and she doesn't know what she's going to with her gone.


End file.
